Proving how shite life is being towards me - when I went for
a walk, I actually got splashed on the pavement by a car going through a puddle.
I was not happy and I swore. What a loser I felt.
This tiny incident is illustrative of a bigger picture. I
think I had hoped that life’s excesses might back-off in these circumstances.
But this does not seem to have happened. It’s like a very bad sermon.
‘God will never let you down’. But it is as if your
perspective on that issue doesn’t count. Many people feel let down by God.
Unless God is going to claim that he has been showing
practical love through family and friends then there is no way that I can
honestly say that he has helped much these past months. Although I will give
him this – when I went to visit my brother and his partner’s grave last weekend
there was a friendly cat perched on a nearby gravestone as if guarding them and
waiting. The cat was so affectionate and I was happy it was there. It was a bit
of a godsend for an emotionally difficult day.
I was pleased that the cat was there. But the comfort of
cats has its limits. A cat is not going to cut it.
'Oh, all that time, and I never realised that You were
right there beside me. You were carrying me, like… like in the Footprints poem!
Oh Lord! Oh, how blind I was! Oh, mighty Lord! You are so very Glorious.'
That's what I think he wants me to say, except not in a
mocking way. Except it's not exactly true, is it? Hence the brief mocking. I
feel I’m largely being left to cope with the grief as best I can. And that is
not always coping very well. I feel I’ve been left to stew.
The correct response is not to write a series of blogs about how you have given up prayer in protest towards your great Boss in the sky. That is not an acceptable reaction in certain circles. And yet here those blogs are, challenging God to practice what he preaches and answer our prayers. Because if he does not practice what he preaches then we have a pretty fundamental problem here don’t we?
For example, the Bible says the following (and let’s use the King James Bible to make it doubly scary)…
“Therefore to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin.” (James 4:17)
I’m going to suggest that those involved with this scripture are going to have to practice what they preach on that one and lead by example, especially in the context of answering prayers. Now some can say, ‘God can do whatever he wants’ and surely that would please him and earn them some more brownie points. But he can’t can he? If he does not practice what he preaches, given that he has access to all the resources in the universe and ultimate power, then we face a pretty major practical problem don’t we? If he behaves hypocritically. Well, nothing is impossible for God, he can break rules – but why choose the issue of practicing what you preach to prove this? Why only prove that nothing is impossible for you in the bad things?
Unless it’s a test.
‘Thou he slay me, yet shall I trust him’.
No. We’ve got another problem here if he/she/they (whatever pronoun you like) thinks that slaying me metaphorically or physically is somehow going to increase my level of trust for him/her/them. That goes for anyone who tries to ‘slay’ me. It does not endear them to me. I will call the police and might forget my pacifist sympathies in the moment (and then repent of any self-defence at my leisure).
What are we anyway – toys?
The picture above is of the sweet cat which seemed to be waiting near my brother’s grave.
Ad, like myself, loved cats.
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