Day 241 – Not really waiting for xmas

 

I'm drinking coffee from a Christmas themed mug. It reads: ‘Festive AF’ and has a little picture of an xmas tree. I have avoided these particular mugs up until now. And I'm aware that my view of Christmas may have deeply changed.

I don't want Christmas to be cancelled in my house just because my brother died on the 25^th December. Most years I was very conscious of those who had lost loved ones around that time and would say a couple of prayers for them. But I fully get it now. It’s going to be a struggle. For me, it is all wrapped up with my feelings towards God for allowing my brother to die on the same day we are supposed to be celebrating life and birth.

I don't even feel I have the luxury to deal with it in any meaningful way at the moment. I just know that I don't want to cancel it here.

But I don't think that Christmas is ever going to be the same again.

“I believe there is a reason that Adam died on Christmas day,” the celebrant had said at my brother’s funeral.

Well, what is it then? Just an irony that a day which should be filled with such joy, which is supposed to be about joy and birth has now become about death to me? And here is a birthday present for Christ. Don’t bother bringing any cakes to the office, God.

A few years ago, I had written a parable – saying it was the most important parable I’ve ever written (and it is an important parable). It’s called ‘The Parable of the Cold Island’. I needed a metaphor to use for what I was trying to say but I leave the whole thing up to the intelligence of any readers. I chose Christmas as the metaphor. It sounds twee, but I was happy with the analogy because it worked on a number of levels.

I have now written a sequel and am planning to publish both of the parables together later this year – with 25^th December as the deadline. I keep the central metaphor, but the new parable has been influenced by life events. It is called The Parable of the Cold Island – Part 2. It goes into the events after the first parable.

It is unlikely to be a trilogy, even though that is a neat format. Any Part 3 will have to be written by history itself.

Above is the draft cover for this new piece of writing. I’m working on other projects, but this will be the next one to be released. It’s the first new thing I will have published since my book of short stories ‘Parables’, apart from the Halloween short stories (which I’m probably stopping, having written them for ten years).

So, I’m trying to acclimatise myself to drinking out of Christmas-themed coffee mugs. Call it exposure therapy. I simply do not see how any of us can avoid it anyway.

If you are interested, you can read the first Parable of the Cold Island here.

It’s a relevant riddle.