Goodbye Queen Elizabeth

 

Many people have been affected by the death of Queen Elizabeth.

The newspapers and websites are filled with material which has long been prepared. There is something comforting about that - in the idea that there has been some kind of plan in place for years. That Operation London Bridge is there to smoothly keep the cogs and wheels of Britain and the Commonwealth running. Goodness knows if there are any other plans in operation. 

The BBC will stop all comedy for some reason – because when you grieve, laughter is not acceptable to some. We live on a strange island.

There were many worse monarchs than Queen Elizabeth. Of course, when a monarch dies, everyone is a royalist to some extent. Freedom of expression has its limits after all, for both republicans and royalists. She surely won the award for being the most popular monarch.

They say that as soon as the Queen died, Charles became King. They say this because they rightly fear that the time between the death of a monarch and the coronation of the new one is a time of social instability. Certain forces, the kind of forces that Queen Elizabeth hinted at during her long reign, will become opportunists. People fear terrorism. Instability. Journalists and writers are called on to keep the peace. We are to write words of comfort and words which keep the wheels and cogs of the system oiled.

People will miss her. She received a lot of prayer and was among the world's most well-known Christians. We got used to her.

Perhaps she could have been more proactive. But in the history of kings and queens she was reasonably benevolent. Episodes of The Crown probably did more for her public image than all the PR of the palace.

We are in new territory. So where do we go from here? What can we say to comfort each other? Millions of words will be written from here on. All kinds of words, and those of us who were raised on Spitting Image, with its caricature of Queen Elizabeth, will wonder at some of them.

And all the plans of Government and the other forces, and the long ago written newspaper material and the plans of church and state... and agitators... will swing into motion like a machine.

You want my advice at this time? Do what you have always done. Survive. But don’t carry on as if nothing has happened. Don’t just keep calm and carry on. It's not business as usual. Even in war, the advice was to keep calm and carry on as much as possible. There was some acknowledgment that there would be some significant ripples felt by people. Sometimes you just can’t carry on as normal. 

So survive. Look around. Read the blogs, watch the changes. Think a little about it all. See the royalists, watch how they act and what they say. See the republicans and listen to their complaints about the constraints on free expression. Watch the news, listen to the journalists. Try not to read too much David Icke.

Take it easy Britain, somebody loves you.

Think happy thoughts.

Criticism of the Government

The cost of living crisis is really only going to affect the poor isn't it?

I live in a Conservative voter majority area, under a Conservative MP. I am always irritated, in discussions, when defenders of Her Majesty's Government say things like, 'You shouldn't judge our PM, he is doing the best he can and you are no better. He is trying his best in difficult circumstances and we should move on from Partygate because there are more pressing issues'.

It isn't a judgement so much as a simple fact that the Government have a lot more responsibility and are in a position of power. Even the Bible says that those who are in leadership should be held to greater account. But the defence of the PM is that he made a few mistakes (weirdly the breaking of arbitrary house of commons rules about lying, considered to be a greater scandal than the fact that he behaved hypocritically).

'But some citizens also broke the rules during the pandemic, so they have no right to judge.'

It's a non sequitor, it doesn't follow that those in power should be held to less accountability than every other citizen. 

'But he has and he has apologised and now we must move on.'

Except the whole of law and ethics is that people are held to account when they have done something wrong, mostly so that they do not do it again. And Boris Johnson saying, 'Let's move on' (as Tony Blair always did) does not mean that he will not do it again. Specifically, to behave hypocritically in any decision he makes in the future.

'But we all sometimes behave hypocritically'.

Sure we do, but we are not all in a position of power.

Who is to say that as Boris Johnson tackles the cost of living crisis, the train strikes (and why will they not even talk with the unions?) or the war in Ukraine, or the coming crises, that he will not do the same thing again - i.e. not practice what he preaches. Well, at least the Government are being consistent in their hypocrisy. They are saying that they want peace in Ukraine and at the same time supplying arms to the Ukrainians, for political reasons, rather than actually caring. They are also not talking with the unions in the train strikes and saying that the train staff are just being selfish. Some of us don't even have the luxury of unions and the Government will make it very certain that you feel that the inconvenience is making things worse. At least the Government isn't greedy for anything huh?

It is said (in the Bible) that people shouldn't say, 'Why were things better in the old days?' It is never explained why. 'Because it isn't wise', writes the leader of that country.

Except that just sometimes things were better in the past. Just sometimes Governments have been held to account and the level of scandal that is occuring in the present would be seen as nightmarish if it had happened before now. 

I always think that the Tories always allow the worst things to happen. They let things happen which other parties would not let happen. They have allowed all of our demons to reign free. This country was my home. I know people who are suffering so much from the negligence of the Government. But it is a delegated neglect. You won't be neglected should you put a foot wrong. But you won't be helped. This current regime has come back ten times as nasty as before. Specifically in the treatment of the poor, the disabled and patients. No wonder the NHS is in crisis - they are under so much pressure from the Government that doctors and nurses barely have time to think.

'Stop doing down the country, we are a great nation and we may be allowed to host Eurovision.'

Except great nations have ethics. They don't NEED ethics advisers to act as their consciences. They should have consciences. Who knew that they had delegated that role to anyone anyway?

'Quit your whining, are you going to offer up any positive solutions?'

Sure, survive. There is no political hope anymore. All we have is this nasty regime which does not care for the poor and disabled. There is simply no compassion. And that attitude permeates all of society now thanks to our leaders. 

So my advice is to survive the best you can under this oppressive Government. If you are so sure that the PM is genuinely sorry for appearing to lie to parliament (surely not?), or worse from behaving hypocritically, then why should you worry that he will do it again? 

If you even dare to criticise them, they point the finger at the opposition. But the opposition are not in power. The Labour leader may have broken the rules too, but the difference is that he is not in Government. 

And they will not even acknowledge that part of the problem is Brexit. Because to do so would be to admit responsibility and that is something which the Government perhaps do need an ethics adviser to understand. We are not free yet.

Because their consciences have been seared with a hot iron, and that's why they need to delegate ethics.

Survive.

My testimony from my obscure book 'Irony'

This is part of a chapter from my obscure book 'Irony'. It contains some of my testimony. Stories make the world go 'round - and if you don't mind, even under capitalism, I'm sticking to mine... Questions are welcome.

Everything that anyone will ever learn is subjective and experiential. Even objective, logical education is something which is experienced as a person with a life story. That’s a nice dogmatic assertion for you to disagree with so that you don’t give a fig about me. For now, it’s important that you don’t like me as an intrusive narrator because we have to analyse part of my life story together.


I have often been tempted to stop being a Christian. Christians say, ‘It is a decision you will never regret’, but perhaps what they mean is that you will never be able to say you regret it. The main reason I haven’t ‘moved on’ from my ‘Christian phase’ is because of irony. Because the existence of continuing ironies in my personal life have persuaded me that, in all likelihood, God exists. When I looked at my faith, I realised that the foremost, sustaining reason that I believed in God was because of the ironic (and often unlucky) events which took place every single day.


And so, because stories make the world go ‘round, to a story of hubris and nemesis. Of excessive pride and humiliation. In the summer of 1995, if you had been there (and let’s hope you weren’t), you may have found me in a music store in Stafford, England listening on some 90’s music store headphones to a CD by Alanis Morissette called Jagged Little Pill. No-one watching would have been able to hear the song Ironic begin as I gazed vacantly, glassy eyed, spaced out, into the street. And no-one else would know that this ghostly 23 year old man was an inpatient of the local mental institution who had to be back in hospital by 8pm before the doors were locked to keep the inmates inside and the sane outside.


In literature, any narrative written by someone with a sanity that is under question is usually said to be the story of an unreliable narrator. Hence we have Poe's The Tell-Tale Heart and a host of other stories narrated by characters who are not to be trusted. Please remember the distinction between narrator and author here, because I would like to refer back to this subject in later chapters (when I venture into out and out madness (as usual)).


The irony of being diagnosed with a mental health problem was that a little while before the diagnosis, I had taken great pride in my intellect. I had decided that my brain was the one thing I could rely on. I’d been quite confident about that. Arrogant even. As it turned out, my brain, and even my conscience was faulty. My conscience like a compass spinning in all directions at once. And my brain like a useless soggy, sponge in the head.


I largely understood the concept of irony as a child. Reading the comic Whizzer and Chips and the Bumpkin Billionaires, I understood that it was ‘funny, strange’ for a cartoon family always to be wanting to get rid of their money. That as soon as they succeeded in getting rid of their fortune in the comic strip they always somehow came into more money than they had before, against their wishes. It was a kind of irony in reverse to real life where instead of wanting to make money, the Bumpkin family wanted to lose theirs (and yet they would never, ever succeed, always winning the lottery or finding some invaluable treasure after they threw their sacks of cash into the sea).


Up until the age of ten I never had a word for such things, but I understood the concept well enough. Children understand a lot more than adults think. And so when, aged 11 my English teacher explained the definition of irony, I immediately thought, ‘Well, obviously’. I understood the literal and the literary definition. And I understood the everyday definition of irony in day-to-day life. At least I thought I did. Children can and do understand the concept of irony. Like adults they are subject to the rules or laws of irony. The weather always seems to turn bad as soon as the school holidays begin. And this kind of pattern is played out in many aspects of all our lives, adult or child. On the whole, children understand. But we forget that we once understood and think we learned it. An understanding of irony is within the minds of children from birth. Later I’ll talk a little about whether this is an evolutionary survival mechanism.


My understanding of irony rusted as I grew older, like a sword which is left in the rain and never cared for. When I was a teenager I became proud of my intellect. I was in the top sets at school and although I may not have been a genius, I did feel that I could take any issue, any subject and sort it out in my head. I vividly remember one day lying on my bed as young man and thinking, ‘My mind is the one thing that I can always rely on’. I had that ugly condescension towards those who were less intelligent (and why is imagination rarely measured when it comes to intelligence?)


In the Old Testament there is a story about Nebuchadnezzar, the king of Babylon, becoming incredibly proud of his power and influence. Such stories are re-enacted today in smaller ways. It is said that the world gives birth to people who are less great than their forefathers as time goes on.


Nebuchadnezzar exclaims, at the height of his power, ‘Look how great Babylon is! I built it as my capital city to display my power and might, my glory and majesty.’

Daniel 4:28


A few days later the biblical story has it that he goes mad and ends up homeless, eating grass like an animal, losing his kingdom and power. Whether or not you consider the Bible to be fiction or not, it is still a fact that people’s lives tend to follow the pattern of the old proverb, ‘pride comes before a fall’. It is also considered by some that there is a spiritual law in which the proud are humbled and vice versa.


Before our proverb were the words of Christ who either observed or created the law that the proud would be humbled and the humble would be honoured. Eventually. Most Christians would say that he created it. There is an ironic aspect to this. King Nebuchadnezzar lost his kingdom and his mind. He lived in the wild and this is now known as one of the few depictions of mental illness in the Bible.


Although I was very proud of my intellect I was clearly not wise, as I took a medley of drugs at university and these drugs had a knock-on effect which I believe resulted in later metal health problems. So, during the summer of ‘95, pumped full of prescribed antipsychotic drugs, I came to realise that my mind was something which I could not always rely on at all. And I lifted my eyes to heaven and I was not healed. My mind, my logic and my conscience appeared to be faulty.


I had already been baptised in a church as I had been a Christian for over two years at that point. After the baptism, before the sectioning, I was given a scripture which read, ‘Lean not on your own understanding’. And I took it as a kind of message from God.


So, to be so proud of my intellect and then to realise that I could not always trust my mind was deeply humbling. And ironic. And seeing all that didn’t heal me either. It just acted as vinegar to a wound.


There is a power to irony because the understanding of it can be elitist. This may not ultimately sort the chaff from the wheat (and why would anyone want to?) but the fact is that a lot of good people will not see ironies where others can see them. This turns it into a secret cipher for the intelligent. This is what made Socrates so powerful in debate. He would ask a seemingly innocent question and defeat his opponents with a feigned naivety. He pretended to be humble and simple in order to win debates. Like Columbo does in his, “Just one last thing…” sentence as he begins to leave a murderer’s house. And it is often still the knock-out blow in an internet debate. Use irony and your opponent will not only look simple, but you will have brought your audience along with you (providing you are not a total ar*e). You will win the argument. At least among the ironically enlightened.


Or if no-one else gets the irony, you will have the personal satisfaction of knowing that you won. And no-one will think you have won. And that will be ironic too.


I have never won an Internet debate in my life. I'm of the old-school opinion that you can't win an argument. Of course, I could just be lying to win an argument in saying that, because this book is one long, confusing claim. Remember that I must be an unreliable narrator as I have a certificate in madness (which even the NHS recognises). Also, there is an irony in failing to win in debate and then attempting to put forward this kind of theory. But some arguments cannot be won or lost, even if they are important. For a person to debate that God exists in a persuasive way, they must win the person and not necessarily the argument. And I’m worried I have simply alienated you through clumsy and dogmatic assertions.


Maybe Christ proved that not being able to win an argument is a nonsense idea because he never backed away from robust debate and clearly saw some purpose in debating moot points. But I'm not Christ (that much should be very obvious), I’m a sinner and I don't have to have the same opinions as Christ has. Alienate your audience and no-one wins. All you end up proving is that you are a total schmuck. They say that there is a reason that you can’t prove God. And that is because the outrageous irony is that God doesn't want to be proved yet. Well, there’s further irony for you.


‘That's very convenient’, you may be thinking. But you can't prove or disprove God. I challenge you to even try to do one or the other before the end of the world. God doesn't want to be proved, he wants to be believed in. ‘Very, very convenient.’ And that is why all manner of spiritual forces will either aid or prevent any attempt to prove God. Including this one. But what can be done is to bring new evidence forward. And that is why I am attempting (perhaps badly) to present irony as a serious example of the existence of a higher power.

Top ten reasons this is not the end of the world

Okay. Time for a new blog entry. I've been trying to write, but failing throughout much of the pandemic. I've only been brave enough to admit that I am afraid. Warning - this entry is dumbed down as my brain is slow at the moment...

I’m an armchair expert in eschatology from a Christian perspective. That is the study of the end of the world for newbies. It is something we should be interested in. And I've got good news and bad news..

Firstly, although this is not the end of the world, we are a little bit closer and the hope of leaving earth before the sun collapses, explodes or whatever it is expected to do, is not, in my opinion, going to happen. Similarly, we simply are not going to evolve into spiritual beings who escape death. Not going to happen. We are also unlikely to escape this sick planet onto another planet either. Not impossible, but unlikely....

Welcome to the good news, or Gospel as we call it. Can you sense my heaviness as I write? Everything is conspiring to stop me from writing this, but you have a right to know. So here’s the bad news first. There is probably much less time left than you think. That, as you know, is a dogmatic statement. I can’t possibly know can I? No-one knows do they? We may destroy the world with nukes or we may have millions of years left before we rip the planet apart. Well, you and I don’t have millions of years. The bad news is that we almost certainly have a lot less time left than most people think.

The pandemic is not the end of the world. It is a result of the fall (as in the Bible fall, the original curse). It just happens. I won't get into the theological stuff regarding who is to blame and why God allows suffering because the greatest minds have not been able to solve it satisfactorily. So I don't think some obscure blogger will either. And you are unlikely to be able to do so either. Sorry.

But here are your top ten reasons why this is not the end of the world, if you are into this kind of thing…  It is supposed to bring you a little peace, that there is hope for the children, should you have them...



1. The Jewish temple has not been rebuilt. Sorry, but that has to happen if it is the end of the world according to most of the Christian meta-narrative. And do you know how many prophecies have really been fulfilled in our lifetimes? One. Uno. The Jewish people returning to Israel. The rest of the prophecies have always been going on. And you know what? Those who believe in the rapture will tell you that it could happen at any moment. But it is extremely unlikely. Because even this debated event is based on other things happening first...

2. You’ve got to look very hard at the Biblical prophecies. Here is number two and it is debatable. Jesus said that the love of many will grow cold. It is debatable. But there is still love and mercy and despite our selfishness, people can be loving.

3. A bit of a biggy. Visit The Joshua Project, it's an online statistical analysis of the great commission (the only commissions some of us get). According to the prophecies given from Jesus and the prophets, the whole of the world must hear the gospel. Yeah, God loved the world so much that he gave his only son that whoever believes in him might basically make it through to Heaven. But according to our favourite stats, we are only about 60% through. So does this mean that we are more concerned about this great commission rather than the other signs? No. In fact, this really big fact is probably the most ignored sign. We don’t like it because it means there is a lot of work to do. And as many know, immantisising the eschaton is an actual thing. In layman's terms that means trying to bring about the end of the world.

4. You’ve got to go deep into internet territory to get this one. I will put two-in-one for fun. Apparently the Nile will dry up, according to scripture. It hasn’t but maybe it did once and wasn’t recorded. No religious leader tells you this stuff (Which is why I’m blowing the whistle). And the second? Damascus in Syria has to be destroyed. Sorry Damascus. Still going strong there though, despite a few hairy moments recently.

5. OMG the Sun will turn to sackcloth and the Moon to blood. This kind of speaks of more than just eclipses and blood moons. So, before we feel too smug, remember that the Sun and Moon are symbolic references to our parents, if the Bible is to interpret the Bible and blah blah blah. And the stars to our siblings. And the end of the world to our own deaths. But the prophecy is literal too.

6. 6. 6. Nice obscure one for your attention. In the apocrypha Maccabees says that the Ark of the Covenant will be found in the very last days. Apparently it was made of acacia wood. Not sure how it is supposed to survive but think Indiana Jones. For those interested, it seems likely to be hidden in the mountain ranges of Jordan somewhere. Good luck finding it.

7. Oh, I’m sorry, where does the antichrist happen to be? Not here for a start. Not Trump. Not the Pope. Ain't nowhere to be seen. There are a lot of nasty characters out there, but that's all. No-one is a particularly good contender at the moment for that dubious position. I have been taught that he will most likely be a politician.

8. Again, slightly obscure, according to prophecies, Israel has to prosper within history. No problem with that, but at the moment the country is in survival mode. Nice defence policy though. Buy New Israeli Shekels.

9. Hey, apparently there is a timeframe in which the Messiah, or the Christ has to appear. Jewish people largely reject Jesus so they are largely expecting a Messiah to appear before 2240. Do the math. That gives us 220 years. Hurrah? (I've just realised my maths is wrong even though I was in the top set at school and got a B)... Might not be the Messiah of course as it is doubtful we will get a better one than Jesus.

10. Oh, I don't know. There is no Season 4 of Stranger Things. Whatever. Could be anything. Fill in the blank.




Some of these are debatable. But if the temple gets rebuilt you have to run to the hills. The vaccine is not likely to be the mark of the beast despite what Kanye West may say. It's the arm, not the hand or forehead. But don't get too smug, governments have hinted at stopping travel for those who don't take the vaccine. That's not fair is it? It's freaky. It's weird. And by the way, the people who are getting demonised are those who are questioning. The demonised are not the ones in power. That's not normal. That's freaky.

Finally, don’t you think it is kind of funny that the end of the world just so happens to have come at the same time as the digital revolution where news and information is shared so instantly? Unless we are under Sod’s Law, we have a little more time. And no, non-believers, not so much time as to evolve and escape the earth on spaceships before the sun kills us all, blasting us into smithereens.


Think happy thoughts.

The Parable of the Cold Island

The Parable of the Cold Island


This is probably the most important parable that I will ever write. It is also the one I have worked on for the longest period of time. The central metaphor will perhaps give the appearance of being trite, schmaltzy or twee. That was not my intention. I chose this metaphor as I still feel it is the most appropriate for the subject. It is not intended to be unnecessarily didactic in tone, but the nature of parables is to send a spiritual message.

Anyone who tells parables has to decide whether they will explain them or not. In this case I'm trusting in your intelligence and imagination.

'Let those who have ears to hear, let them hear...'





There was once a good king, a king like the sun, who ruled over a cold island with three peculiar children. It was winter and they say that winter is the end of the story of the seasons. But it depends on when you start the story.

Some people hated the royal family, but that was because they tended to get a bad press. Most of the people thought the king was harsh. He always seemed to be on some long journey and his absence caused many of the people to doubt that he even existed. After all, he was never on TV or the internet.

From a distance, he often seemed negligent or downright cruel, if it is possible to be both at once. He did not do terrible things, but he allowed them and would not explain why.

Two of the royal children were as disobedient as vultures. But the third child was as faithful as a robin, refusing to fly away when the winter sun grew austere. Her kindness was all the more remarkable because she was unable to walk. She was as loyal as frost clinging to a car window (for which the people also cursed the king in the mornings).

There hadn’t been a real Christmas on that island for over a hundred years. Although there had been some imitations of it. No-one even knew what Christmas was like anymore. Those who had heard of it either thought it brutal and regressive (following a highly popular Netflix series about what Christmas may be like and a series of stereotypes which were expressed in the arts and media about the character of those who might like Christmas) ... Or else they thought it was yet another money-making scheme, heavy on the merchandise and manipulation.

But the faithful robin-child, after reading of true Christmas, asked her father if they could celebrate too… as the people in far-off places were said to do. She had only read stories of Christmas and it was because she had lost a friend in one of the past winter months that she found her courage.

She entered the throne room in her wheelchair and the king looked sadly at his cold iron sceptre, like a man haunted by ghosts which only he knew about.

"We need Christmas father. Things are getting worse on the island," said the robin-child.

"The island is sick," replied the king.

"Then there is hope of healing. You have healing in your power."

"What do you think Christmas should be like anyway?" the king asked, "Like water? Like the sea's tide turning? Like rain after a drought? Like a river flowing?"

"I don't know."

"Or like the earth? Like an earthquake and a shaking, or a kind of sifting of the good and bad?"

"No not that, Christmas should be for everyone and that sounds destructive."

"Or like the air? Like a wind blowing across the land? Like a change in the atmosphere?"

"I don't know."

"Or like fire? Like tongues of flame? Like a wildfire?"

"I simply think it should be like a new, better season. Like Christmas in the old stories."


But the king went on to tell his daughter yet again that if his children and people continued to misbehave, they would never see Christmas. It was within his power to make the winter months warmer and lighter since kings and queens still hold great power. But it was catch 22 – without the comfort of Christmas, people found it hard to behave, but if they did not behave, the king would not give them Christmas. The king's conditions felt very patronising and simplistic.

It had become increasingly dark and cold in those winter months in so many ways. And the dark and cold had soaked into the hearts of the people, so that even the streets saw puddles of blood. The blood had a voice, but by this time only the king could seem to hear it. Nobody cared about all kinds of roses crushed underfoot. Gentleness had emigrated. It was as if the island was under a curse.

At the start of December, the king sat on his throne and wondered whether he should allow his island child her peculiar request. He was undecided, since two of his children were so naughty (they were always fighting and rarely did what he asked). When he told them to love, they hated. When he told them to forgive, they held grudges. When he told them to not be too proud and condescending towards the people, they simply looked down their noses at the less privileged. It had got so bad that the people were cursing the royal family because of the actions of the princes. “The royal family are judgmental bigots!” the people would sing. Or else, “The king is in the altogether, he’s altogether not there!” And blood on the streets didn’t help. The people would take strange, dangerous potions and dance wildly into the night or else treat each other as badly as the princes treated them.

The king wondered whether he should simply give a present to his daughter and ignore the others. But then he considered that Christmas should be for everyone and an exclusive Christmas had never happened before. But why Christmas on his island alone? There was the Commonwealth, and the people there could be said to be worthier? One last worldwide Christmas for everyone (even though that had never happened before). What had happened before can happen again, for good or for evil. He had told all his children to behave and they had largely ignored him. What should a good father do? He, did, after all, have his enemies and ghosts. And the land had enough problems already, ready to break and divide for the sake of a freedom which was only hoped in.

One of the naughty children didn’t believe Christmas was healthy, he thought it probably meant, a pair of socks as a present, a lot of disappointment and probably a lot of grief. He didn't like anything about Christmas. The other thought it was unlikely to happen again before the end of the world. He simply thought there would never be a genuine Christmas again. But the faithful robin child would read old stories and she believed that even if they were only to have one last Christmas it would be a good thing for everyone on the cold island. It would help them to prepare for the coldest and darkest of days. She too loved the people of the island.

But the winter winds pummelled them all and the thunder made it seem as if the sky may fall at any moment. And the naughty children started to doubt that their father really was good – not because they wanted Christmas, but because he seemed to allow so many bad things and then said it was some kind of test. And never explained why. The tests were always the same anyway, they were either endurance tests or self-control tests, but the king, because of his ghosts, considered that an unfair criticism. Kings can do that and you can't tell them that they are wrong.

The king had set out conditions for there to be a Christmas. He had said that if his children talked to him, keeping their conversations secret, and if they were well-behaved and if they trusted in him, he would give them Christmas once again and the Christmas would be both a relief and a healing for them all. Hearts would turn warm and there would be more light, like the light of a baby in a manger. But the trouble was that he had three children and only one of them was behaving. The majority were not. In a sense, it was because of the naughty children that the whole island did not get Christmas, especially the fault of the naughtiest leading prince who had been given more than the others and who was relatively healthy.

So, the king faced a quandary – he had promised that he would order Christmas throughout the land if all his children behaved. But how could they behave when all was cold and austere and there was no Christmas? The robin princess had talked to him on countless occasions about this, about how Christmas would be good for both him and the people, about how it would make things better, about how a good father should not deny the request of an obedient daughter simply because others were not so obedient. About how Christmas itself would swing the hearts and souls of people onto his side. About how, while he delayed, the people and the children suffered together. About how he had also promised to grant any request made persistently. About what kind of good father would deny Christmas to his children anyway? About how he wanted free will love from the people and he would get that if he gifted Christmas.

But the king simply looked at his cold iron sceptre, shrugged and said that unless his people and his children talked to him, behaved, and trusted in him, he couldn’t send Christmas.

“But you also once said nothing is impossible for you,” said the robin princess.

“These are the conditions,” said the father with a stern face that did not suit him.

“But you once said that even a bad judge would rule in favour of a petitioner if they persisted, and I have pestered you about this for years.”

“These are the conditions,” said the king, his face like flint (which did not suit one whose glory was supposed to be greater than the sun).

“But how can the conditions ever be met on this island where the streets drink blood without conditions changing so that the conditions are more likely to be met?”

“That doesn’t make sense.”

“Why must you win every argument?" replied the Princess, "It isn’t endearing. People are suffering. What kind of good father would deny Christmas to their children? You told us that you love us.”


So here is the quandary, the mystery and here is the parable – that the good and kind king had seen how cold and dark his land had grown and truly understood the suffering of his people (having lived as one of them, in another land, a long time ago). Yet he denied them Christmas, saying it was the fault of his enemies, or of his children, or of his ghosts. Saying that conditions needed to be met, saying that his timing was perfect. And often saying nothing at all.

And still, the faithful robin princess and the people waited to see if a good King and Father would really delay Christmas on that cold, dark island for reasons known only to himself and his ghosts. And the robin princess, her heart broken because of the blood on the streets, knew that the only thing left to do was to keep on asking.

Thoughts on the Referendum and Faith

Politics and nationalism are a powerful concoction. They have driven ordinary people to insanity. So if you sprinkle a bit of religion into the cauldron, you can be making a potent and sometimes poisonous brew.

I’m going to try to avoid doing that in this blog entry (although the insanity is a given). But I wanted to write about Brexit and the spiritual aspect of the referendum.

The politically enlightened know that politics influences everything. The spiritually enlightened know that even politics is influenced by the spiritual.

To put things into context, Britannia has been a little under the weather recently. Her helmet has slipped and her shield has rusted in the salty sea wind. And as for her trident – well, it’s pointless and expensive. Some people think she needs to get up out of that throne and make a stand (idle shirker that she is). In fact, to all appearances, Britannia has seemed a little sickly of late.

And with a referendum coming up, the theory is that Britannia now has to decide which side she wants to be on – or to be misled in the process.

No fear tactics there then. ‘No-one’s misleading no-one’. ‘Don’t personify a country which does not even have the luxury to claim a soul’. ‘Speak sense man’.

To add some context to Brexit and the way in which it relates to Christianity, you may need to look into a Christian conspiracy theory or two. Namely, the idea that the EU is the revived Roman Empire which, in the future will be led by evil personified. This particular conspiracy theory draws from classic books such as Hal Lindsey’s ‘The Late, Great Planet Earth’ and originates from the biblical books of Daniel and Revelation. You can probably see the whole theory elsewhere if you are minded to do so. It is eschatology, the study of the end times, and it is all up for debate anyway. Better still, if you haven’t already, read Revelation (but don’t read it at night as it has the same contrast of beauty and ugliness as Macbeth).

Now, throw into our concoction a few drops of freedom and you have a heady mix which smells as sweet as Britannia’s new makeover from the Royal Mint. Because freedom is what Brexit is all about for some eurosceptics – it is not necessarily about there being too many people here, or national sovereignty or immigration. For some of us it is not about immigration at all. Immigrants suffer enough and have been one of the few things which have kept Christianity going in the UK. I would rather Farage had the courage to acknowledge the good that immigrants do. It is not Christian to be racist or prejudiced.

There are other issues. Sometimes it is just about freedom. Not necessarily the freedom to retain sovereignty and make our own laws, but about feeling free. How can any side promise freedom? The concoction starts to smell bad again and maybe there is death in this particular national pot. The last refuge of the scoundrel.

I’d like to suggest that this feeling of a lack of freedom which fuels so much in life is being projected outwards. We can easily blame all our ills on another country, people or system - or terrorist group (why do the Government’s enemies have to be my enemies?). And why does it all come down to one vote (which too many are excluded from anyway)? Will the exercising of that vote bring freedom? Will it bring the hope which seems so scarce to so many?

But I’m over-spiritualising.

Christ seemed to over-spiritualise the occupation of Israel during his time on earth. Many of his people wanted to be free of the Roman Empire – but Christ would say frustratingly little about politics. He focused people’s attention on the things that enslaved them from within. Things like sin (which Christ, very liberally, called a ‘sickness’). As it happened, the Jewish uprising against the Roman occupying force came after Christ had been murdered, but it was violent and bloody too. The Roman Empire eventually declined and seemed to die and maybe it really did rise again in the EU. At least it is imaginative to theorise in that way. But Caesar, or any head of the EU is always going to be an outsider to all kinds of miracles.

The disciples were made up of patriots and those who were considered traitors, those who supported and thrived under the Roman Empire’s rules and those who longed for national freedom. They had to muddle along together under a cause which wasn’t about freedom from occupation or the maintenance of the status quo. Their cause became Christ. And this was (and still is) the cause of causes. The cause for which many live and die.

Today's disciples are also made up of eurosceptics and europhiles. Churches don’t usually take a party line on Brexit simply because they will alienate half of their audience (which I believe I may have the monopoly on). It is left as a matter of conscience.

But Christ was in a country far away and long ago and such stories and histories are either believed or dismissed. Or else we put our fingers in our ears saying we are free and we will ‘never, never, never’ be slaves. Of course, there are those who say that being a Christian somehow makes you less British. That believing in the only legitimate creator and protector of nations makes you somehow less loyal to your own country. Go figure.

Most of us still think freedoms matter, both the internal and external kind (because they relate to each other). Freedom from pain. Freedom from suffering. Freedom of expression and thought and conscience which are (perhaps ironically for some) enshrined in the European Convention on Human Rights. Freedom to write obscure blog entries which don’t make sense. The freedom to be as eccentric in our beliefs as Britannia herself (as she sits stroking her pet lion ‘Tiberius’ (‘Tibby’ for short)).

So stir all this up in our cauldron and what do we get? Apart from mixing metaphors and personifications? We still have Britannia, sick and needing the freedom to heal and grow, with her rusty helmet and pointless trident. Still wondering who is misleading her.

Because when it all comes down to it – only Christ, who is more revived than any Roman Empire ever will be, can give any of us the freedoms we so long for. And unlike the Government or the EU, he will actually listen to anyone. Including the soul of Britannia.

Think happy thoughts.

The harvest is past, the summer has ended, and we are not saved.

The spiritual silly season story of the summer sadly seems to have been slowly suspended (I know, I'm trying to be too clever with the alliteration).

In this case we are talking about the Welsh Outpouring at Victory Church, Wales. To recap, for those at the back, it all started after a reported miracle took place in which a wheelchair user named 'Paul' began to walk during a church meeting. He carried his wheelchair over his head. You can investigate the incident for yourself by looking at the United Christian Broadcasters documentary here:

http://www.victorychurch.co.uk/watch-the-welsh-outpouring-documentary

For those short of time and interest, please watch the video from 2:40 minutes on.

And for those of us who were born cynical, you may be wondering just what all the fuss was about. Isn't it just more bread and circuses for believers?

The trouble is that I have tried to dig up the dirt on this entire thing (believe me dear, longsuffering reader, I've tried so damned hard!!). And there isn't much dirt. The church in question does a lot of good work in their community helping needy people. They don't even seem to be in it for the money.

I've done everything I can from my lair (beyond dragging my sorry arse to the church in question (due to a lack of personal resources)).

And what I have to report for you are the following things:

1. There is no dirt. The closest you will find are some links to some dubious personalities and a few Christian conspiracy theories (which are always the best). But that means nothing.
2. Some alleged plagiarism on the church website has been discussed on some forums, but again it is meaningless and spurious.
3. A lot of people doubting the motives of the people involved, especially churches in the nearby area who may or may not be envious.
4. There was also one anonymous allegation that the initial healing was false because the person involved continues to smoke. The inhalation of nicotine has rarely been used as this kind of spiritual barometer before - so be very afraid you Christian smokers...

In the end, I have to fall on one side of the fence or the other. My belief is that God did do something miraculous at Victory Church Wales. I hope that he does more for the people of Britain, who may, or may not, be accusing him of negligence.

I don't know. I'm quite mad you know? And this is just a blog...

David Cameron - Christian?

There isn't much which is more damaging to believers than a Prime Minister claiming to be a Christian. It simply reinforces people's perception that Christianity is about defending the status quo (or the rich). It also reinforces the false view that Christians are privileged in society.

Yesterday some brave soul asked Cameron: "What would your response to Jesus be on his instruction to us to sell all our possessions and give the proceeds to the poor?"

Reports suggest that the PM was thrown by the question and had a momentary mental block: "I have never had that question before." he muttered.

Then his political spiel kicked in and he said: "I’m a Christian and I’m an active member of the Church of England, and like all Christians I think I sometimes struggle with some of the sayings and some of the instructions.

But what I think is so good about Jesus’s teachings is there are lots of things that he said that you can still apply very directly to daily life and to bringing up your children.

Simple things like do to others as you would be done by; love your neighbour as yourself, the Ten Commandments, the Sermon on the Mount.

To me they’re still pretty fresh and good instructions... but the particular one that you mention, I find a little bit more difficult."

You couldn't come out with an answer like that unless you had the devil whispering dark advice in your ear. 

Once again we have the old Government lie: 'God is with us' (and the implication of that: 'He approves of all that we do'). Because that is the subtext of the exchange.

And if David Cameron actually does have some kind of relationship with Christ (which I think is debatable) - then he is behaving like a sycophant to Christ.

It is the subtext of the exchange which is the danger. Once again the Government needs the legitimacy that is provided from faith groups. And once again, through both word and action they claim that God is with them and that God is in all that they do, every law that they make, every oppressive statement against the poor. When there are hospital cut backs - God is with them. When minorities are marginalized - God is with them. When things get worse in the country and not better - God is with them and these measures are necessary for future freedom. When arms are traded God is with them. When the poor are oppressed - God is with them. And even if they choose to deny this is the truth - God is with them in that too.

Take a message from another struggling Christian who finds it hard to sell all his possessions Mr Cameron (and I hope that is where the similarities cease):

God is not with the Government. God is with the people.

What the country needs is a Christian revival, not a nominal Christian Prime Minister who is making things worse for both the Christian community and for the poor.

Freelance Writer - Nick White Writing

Today I’m setting up my freelance writing business. So this is the launch of Nick White Writing. What has largely been a hobby should, from here on, be a comprehensive writing service.

Back in the noughties I was a freelance journalist for a while so I have an idea of what to expect. I also have the professional training, experience and qualifications. I retrained recently to update my skills for online work.

My specialties are going to be the things I have in-depth knowledge about, which are:

•          Spirituality, faith and Christianity
•          Writing itself (most fields/genres)
•           Mental health
•           eBook publishing

Along with these subjects I also have good knowledge of computing (including retro gaming), folk-lore, poetry, guinea pigs, cats, politics, current affairs, revivals/awakenings, psychology, eschatology (end-times) and musicals (especially Sondheim). I’m not sure there is currently much of a market for eschatology, Sondheim and revivals/awakenings – but someone has got to know about these things!

I’m also planning to expand my knowledge-base with further research.

So, if you, or anyone you know needs any copywriting, proof-reading or editing done for websites, books, newsletters or anything else then please consider using my skills. I can also help with eBook publishing if you are writing a book.

More information on my website soon (www.nickwhitewriting.com).

Watch this space.