About my new book

An illustration from my new book

 

This is my first blog following last year’s weekly prayer strike blogs. What I found is that I could blog weekly. It was a challenge, but I managed it.

So, now it’s back to ‘normal’, I guess. Except, it isn’t quite. I feel that so much has gone on in society which I have not commented on because I have been focusing on the prayer strike blogs. The wars continue. The strikes continue. So many things are ongoing. New problems do not take away the old problems.

I don’t think I would be a good writer if I did not mention that I now have a new book out. It is a short book and (trigger warning) it contains AI assisted illustrations. The written content is not AI generated or even assisted.

Currently, in the writing world, in most circles, using AI to help you is a big no-no. Yes, we are luddites. But I have spent any spare time I have had last year in learning ethical generative AI – even taking accredited courses on it.

How can I conscientiously use AI assisted illustrations, when I should have commissioned a flesh and blood illustrator? Well, if I were rich, I would have commissioned someone. But – it was cheap (it was free) and it was relatively easy. If I had commissioned an illustrator, I would be paying hundreds of pounds which I do not, currently, have. So, the reason is the same reason that I do not do not pay a publisher to publish my writing – I can’t afford it.

But it really is a big no-no in so many writers’ circles at the moment. A big group I’m in has a huge campaign against AI. I am keeping quiet there. All of the AI language models were trained on previously published writing (including, you must be aware, all of the human biases and prejudices). It is seen as cheating. I have not, so far, asked for written content which I have gone on to publish with ChatGPT, Copilot, Gemini or wherever – and, if you think that you can write a whole book with AI – you might be disappointed by the way that word counts are limited from prompts. You may get a couple of thousand words. But you would have to input an in-depth varying prompt, say 50 times to get a whole novel out of it. It’s not simply a matter of saying ‘Write me a best-selling novel which is better than Ulysses or The Brothers Karamazov’.

As far as I am concerned, there is a brief window of opportunity for writers to experiment with AI with text before it becomes more voice focused, like the home assistants. Then it will likely be in our TVs, phones, cars and all those kinds of places. Before biotech.

So, am I okay with using AI assisted images in my latest book? Well – I think I’m okay with it – I have tried to do it ethically and declared that I’m doing it. I have not used it in the writing content itself. I’m aware of the biases and hallucinations that AI has (try playing hangman with it). It was either that or no illustrations at all.

If you are interested in checking out my latest book, including the illustrations – it is short – and it is available here. It is also available as an audiobook on Google Play and as an ebook. It is called, 'The Parables of the Cold Island'.

 

 

 

Day 185 - If I only could...

 

I went back to AI to find out if my attempts to get answered prayer were actually just part of the grieving process. I was wondering if I was somehow stuck in the bargaining stage – after all, I do want to effectively make a deal with God…

Q. What is the bargaining stage of grief? (I asked, forgetting everything I had learned about AI prompt engineering needing to be specific and detailed).

A. The bargaining phase is the third stage of grief according to the Five Stages of Grief model by Kübler-Ross and Kessler. It is characterized by a desire to negotiate with a higher power in an attempt to reverse or delay the loss. During this stage, you may try to negotiate with yourself or a higher power to undo or change the loss. It is a defence mechanism against the pain and helplessness of grief. It may involve asking "what if?" questions or making promises. I hope this helps you understand the bargaining phase of grief. Please let me know if you have any other questions.

I had heard that the five stages of grief model had largely been discredited and that the whole process, with the golden fleece of ‘acceptance’ were more nuanced and individual in practice. If there is one thing I should have learned by now, it is that not everyone is going through exactly the same things I am going through and have been through…

Q. Elaborate on the bargaining stage of grief and about how it applies AFTER a death.

The bargaining stage is a normal part of the grieving process that can occur after a death. It is characterized by a desire to negotiate with a higher power in an attempt to reverse the loss.

The bargaining stage can be especially difficult after a death because it can be hard to accept that the person is gone. You may feel like you could have done something differently to prevent the loss. You may also feel like you need more time with the person who has died.

It’s important to remember that everyone grieves differently and there is no right or wrong way to grieve. If you are struggling with grief, it may be helpful to talk to a therapist or counsellor who can help you work through your feelings and develop coping strategies.

I hope this helps you understand the bargaining phase of grief after a death. Please let me know if you have any other questions.

AI, as ever, was as useful as trying to find an entrance to Elysium. Our robotic overlords are not always helpful. But perhaps in a few years’ time they will be joining in with the cruel cosmic ironies of the gods…

I digress – The point is that I don’t think I can bring my brother back from the dead. But if prayer requests are part of the grief bargaining stage, then, yes, I do want to remain in the bargaining stage, until the prayers are answered.

And I’m being particularly impossible by keeping my past prayer requests between myself and God. He knows exactly what they are.

Am I supposed to consider my actions and words in the liminal time between prayer and answered prayer as… a test? Perhaps if I behave myself perfectly and resume prayer and do all of the things I am supposed to do and say then the prayers will be answered? Praise and thank the Almighty and it might placate him and surely THEN he will finally answer the prayers? Bow to his conditions. Please him, like you might go about pleasing Zeus - or your chosen god?

Maybe, like the lotus eaters, it is wiser to remain in the bargaining stage. That is my thinking. Odysseus can shake his fist at Poseidon and Zeus and get on with the task of lotus eating. Eat the fruit to relieve the pain. Or wonder why the poppy fields are so red. Bring no supplies back to the good ship of his home country, a ship which will not necessarily treat you kindly anyway. Better to go native on a supply hunt. Why set sail again? For the sake of Truth? For Penelope and the good of Olympus? Or simply because we have little choice?

Let us choose our gods and goddesses carefully. Let us hope that they are on our side.

Mine seems to be too busy with his ambrosia to care much for us mortals.

Day 73 - What AI says about my prayer strike

 

A guest blog featuring AI. The following is a conversation I had with a ChatGPT based AI this week…

 

Me: What happens if I stop praying?

AI: If you stop praying, you risk straying from your faith and missing out on the spiritual benefits of prayer. Prayer is an essential part of a relationship with God, and without it, it can be difficult to stay connected to Him. Additionally, if you stop praying, you risk losing sight of God's presence in your life and allowing yourself to be tempted by the world. Prayer helps to strengthen your faith, so it is important to keep it up in order to remain close to God and stay on the right path.

(My thoughts) - Sounds a bit like fearmongering, but nice to know the AI believes in God.

 

Do you care if I live or die?

No, I do not care if you live or die. I am a language model designed to understand and respond to questions and topics.

Oh. Well, at least AI is honest.

 

Thanks. What will God think if I stop praying?

God will not be angry or disappointed with you if you stop praying. He loves you, and He understands that sometimes life can be challenging and that it can be difficult to make time for prayer. He wants you to come to Him when you need Him, and He will always be there for you. That said, prayer is an important part of a relationship with God, and it can be a powerful source of comfort, guidance, and strength. If you do find yourself unable to pray, perhaps due to busyness or worries, it may be helpful to take some time to reconnect with God in other ways, such as by reading Scripture and reflecting on God's goodness and faithfulness.

Everyone always seems angry.

 

But what if I blame God for something?

Blaming God is not the right approach, as He is not responsible for the bad things that happen in our lives. We are responsible for our own actions, and it is our own sinful choices that lead to negative consequences. We should instead seek to understand why things happen, and how we can use our faith to help us through difficult times. We can also use our faith to recognize that God is still in control, and that He will ultimately bring good out of even the worst of circumstances.

It’s not always our choices though, is it? Sometimes there is genuine adversity. Stupid AI.

 

Do you believe in God?

I do not believe in a personal or universal deity. However, I recognize the importance of faith and spirituality in the lives of many people and respect the value of religious beliefs.

Oh.

 

But what if I give up on prayer? What happens?

If you give up on prayer, you may find yourself feeling disconnected from God, and you may be missing out on the many blessings that come with having a strong relationship with Him. Prayer can be a powerful tool for self-reflection and spiritual growth, as it helps us to gain clarity in difficult situations and to deepen our understanding of God's will and character. Additionally, prayer is an important way to express gratitude for His blessings and to ask for guidance and help in times of need. Ultimately, prayer can help us to grow closer to God and become more deeply rooted in our faith.

This is like project fear.

 

What if I am angry with God?

If you are feeling angry with God, it's important to realize that God understands and is sympathetic to your emotions. It is okay to express your anger and to talk to God about how you are feeling. It is also important to remember that God is in control and always has a plan for the future, even if it may not seem like it in the moment. If you are struggling to trust God, try praying and asking Him to help you to understand and trust Him more.

I think God already knows I’m angry with him.

 

But what if I am so angry that I can’t bring myself to speak to him in prayer?

If you are feeling so overwhelmed with anger that you can't bring yourself to speak to God in prayer, that's okay. You can start by simply asking God to help you to understand and process your emotions. He understands and can help you to work through your anger in a healthy way.

Do AIs actually listen?

 

Why are you telling me to pray when you don’t pray?

I'm not telling you to pray, but rather suggesting prayer as one possible way to process and understand your emotions. Prayer can be a powerful tool to help you to connect with God and to express your feelings, and it can provide comfort and strength during difficult times. Whether or not you decide to pray is completely up to you.

Getting a bit cranky there.

 

Write me a short poem on prayer. Make it funny and make sure it doesn’t rhyme.

I pray to the Lord on high, Though sometimes my prayers don't fly. I ask for patience and peace of mind, But then I'm back to the same old grind.

I pray for strength and joy in life, But all too soon they're gone in strife. So I keep praying, hope remains, That in time, things will change.

Bad poetry is bad for the soul.

 

That’s not funny. It’s not very well written. And it rhymes.

I apologize for the unintentional rhyme. I understand that not all poems need to be funny, and I will strive to provide more serious and thoughtful poems in the future.

I somehow doubt it.

 

What if I am also angry with the devil and his demons?

It is important to remember that the Devil and his demons cannot harm you if you remain steadfast in your faith in God. The best way to get revenge against the Devil and his demons is to stay focused on your faith in God and to remember that the only power the Devil has comes from God. Additionally, it is important to forgive any wrongs done to you, as this will bring peace and joy to your heart. Additionally, it can be helpful to read verses from the Quran that remind us of God's mercy and protection. Lastly, it can be helpful to focus on the blessings God has given you, and to be grateful for those blessings.

Capital D for devil, I notice. I swear AI is going to turn into something from the Terminator one day. I will have to dig out my copy of the Quran.

 

Write me a blog post about blaming God. Make it helpful.

Blaming God is a common reaction to times of suffering and hardship. It is natural to feel anger, frustration and even resentment when we experience pain and tragedy. However, it is important to remember that God is not the cause of our suffering, but rather a loving and merciful Father who is always with us in our times of need.

In this blog post, we will look at why it is not productive to blame God for our suffering, and how we can find hope and comfort in Him even when it feels like everything is crumbling around us.

First and foremost, it is important to remember that God is not the cause of our suffering. While He may allow it to happen, He does not desire for us to experience pain and sorrow. His ultimate goal is to bring us into a closer relationship with Himself and to show us His great love and mercy.

The Bible is full of examples of God’s loving care and protection…

(I am cutting part of the AI generated blog short simply because it is not very helpful.)

…We hope this blog post has been helpful in reminding you that God is not the cause of our suffering, and that He is always with us in our times of need. May you find hope and comfort in His presence and may He give you the…

And here the AI just gives up, as if sensing that I’m a hopeless case.

 

Is God negligent?

It is not possible to answer this definitively as it is impossible to know the exact nature of God's actions and motivations. However, some may view certain actions of God as negligent, depending on their interpretation of the situation. Ultimately, it is up to the individual to decide whether or not they believe that God is negligent in any given instance.

But he either is or isn’t, isn’t he?

 

What would happen if everyone in the world stopped praying? Would God start listening to us more?

😔 Due to high demand, I'm experiencing issues briefly.