Light sources - two narratives

The Orrery (1765) Joseph Wright

The Adoration of the Shepherds (1646) Rembrandt

On Fire

By now the Olympic torch is so much of a celebrity that it has its own agent and gives out regular press releases: 'I shall be visiting Staffordshire. Watch me being carried along by the lesser celebrities The Wanted.'

You really have to suffer to see any kind of celebrity. By the fourth rain downpour I was soaked through.

Just as long as no-one got in the way for the photos....

Out of the way! (I think I know what the 'W' stands for on the back of the cameraman's top).

Of course, I was able to grab a quick interview as the celebrities passed by. Here is my exclusive:

"So, Olympic flame. How does it feel to be carried by The Wanted?"

"Άφησέ με ήσυχο."

"Excuse me?"

"I travel all the way from Greece and you demand I speak English? Lucky for fools like you, I'm multi-lingual."

"What will go through your mind when you reach the Olympic stadium?"

"Who the Hades are you? I'm on fire. I will be thinking of setting the world alight."

"What if you go out?"

"Nothing can stop me. Not even the end of the world."

"Have you got any post-Olympic plans?"

"I have a little condominium on a Greek island where I plan to spend my golden years."

"In this economy how can you justify that kind of luxury. Are you a white elephant?"

"Do I look like an elephant? I will be giving hope to millions. I will be setting a burning desire in the hearts of souls throughout nations. I will stir up the best instincts in men, women and children."

"What would you say to people who say the past Olympics were much better?"

"I would say that the children of today will say the same thing."

"If the world doesn't end?"

"No-one's talking about the end of the world, shut up fool, I have an important job to do. I'm on fire."

"One last question. How do you get up from an all time low?"

But before I knew it both The Wanted and the Olympic torch had passed by.

Celebrities

Max from The Wanted

Stranded in Eternity

Stranded in Eternity - a new short story by Nick White coming soon.

The Hollow Statue

The Hollow Statue - a new short story by Nick White coming soon.

The Fearful Tale of Malcolm Hypothetical

Photo by Kolya Miller

I've probably spent more time in hospitals than most people. I'm not saying it's a competition, but if it was then I would win.

Whenever I go to a hospital or a doctors surgery I wonder why Christians are encouraged to share their faith in these environments. I would have thought it was the worst place to evangelize.

For example, what is the point of sitting next to a man who is putting on the usual brave face and trying to share the gospel with him? Let's call this hypothetical man 'Malcolm'.

The possibilities to play on Malcolm's fears are limitless:

"Do you believe in an afterlife?"


That's a nice ice breaker.

"If you were to die today do you know where you would go?"


Who said death is taboo? And the inference that there is more than one place for Malcolm to go when he dies is sure to comfort him.

And what if an eager evangelist got cut off mid-evangelism?

"As I was saying Malcolm, we are all sinners from birth ever since the fall and not one of us can work our way into heaven. There is nothing we can do to be saved. We are all destined for hell and the wages of sin is death..."


'Can Malcolm Hypothetical come through for his tests now please?'


And Malcolm gets up, his legs shaking a little. Then he walks sadly along a corridor which has walls saturated in years of peoples fears.

I will be back in a doctors waiting room next week (for the umpteenth time). I intend to practice what I preach and not share my faith there.

Show 'em your cross

There is a very simple reason that the Government are saying that Christians have no right to wear a cross in some workplaces. David Cameron and all politicians are vampires.

It is, at his stage, just a theory. But it would explain a lot. For a start it would explain the cold indifference that the Government are showing to the poor and to the disabled. As Count Dracula oppressed all those around him in Bram Stoker's 'Dracula', so too the modern day political vampires.

They are sucking the life out of the soul of the country. So it is only natural, being one of the damned, that Mr Cameron and his kind would oppress the people below his high and lofty castle also known as The House of Commons.

The Count was always a plausible figure in Stoker's novel. He seemed charming, hypnotic, charismatic even. He was rich and he had his servants.

It just seems strange to me that the Government should find the cross offensive. And with the rise in vampire-based stories (in which the vampire character is subverted to the good guy), is it any wonder that Cameron and his kind have secretly sold their souls to evil?

Of course there is only one practical solution. I don't advocate stakes through the heart and beheading because these are violent methods. You cannot fight evil with evil.

There is only one solution - the House of Commons should be adorned with garlic to prevent the comings and goings of the hoard. Then someone must splash holy water over the head vampire. Then, if all else fails, those who feel that it is a right to their freedom of expression to wear a cross at work should be supported and encouraged.

That the vampires are bugged by this free expression will perhaps keep their fangs away from the innocent.

Prayer and politics

(Parliamentary copyright images are reproduced with the permission of Parliament)

With the recent controversy over prayers being said in council meetings and in parliament I thought it would be interesting to blog about the subject. What does seem to be clear is that very few people actually knew that councillors and politicians pray as part of their formal meetings.

Whether this is right or wrong is another debate, as is whether or not all faiths should be represented - one thing is clear though - politicians are among the most prayed for people in the UK. With all this prayer and good intention swirling around the ether you may be wondering what on earth is going on in the UK Christian community. Why are we so damned compliant?

There are some semi-formal Christian groups among politicians themselves. There have been for a while. And Christians (on the whole) will pray for politicians. You can view this as perpetuating the status quo, but the reason it is done is because part of the new testament specifically calls on Christians to pray for national leaders. Specifically prayers are said that leaders will act with wisdom. But it can get out of hand and I've heard Christians pray for politicians to be protected, for their possessions to be protected, for them to be protected from the intrusive media, for them to be blessed in everything they do, Amen and Amen etc. There are a number of Christian groups with websites dedicated to praying for those in power.

I refuse to pray for them out of principle, but I've had it made clear to me in the past that I'm not toeing the Christian line on this issue.

There is even more prayer among politicians themselves at each sitting when both the Lords and the Commons begin the day with a formal prayer. In the commons, attendance is voluntary and MPs have to stand facing the wall behind them (a tradition thought to be based on the difficulty of praying while kneeling and carrying a sword).

The actual prayer read out by the speaker’s chaplain is: ‘Lord, the God of righteousness and truth, grant to our Queen and her government, to members of parliament and all in positions of responsibility, the guidance of your Spirit. May they never lead the nation wrongly through love of power, desire to please, or unworthy ideals, but laying aside all private interests and prejudices keep in mind their responsibility to seek to improve the condition of all mankind; so may your kingdom come and your name be hallowed, Amen.’

So Christians will often pray for politicians, that the decisions they make will benefit the people of this country. The only problem is (as I'm sure you may have noticed), sometimes, prayers are unanswered.