On October 31st there is an event which everyone
has eagerly been awaiting in the UK. Yes, that’s right, it’s my annual
Halloween story! It shall faithfully be delivered as sure as the result of a
democratic vote.
Concerning Brexit, which I know almost everyone is fed up
with (although I can assure you that some people are enjoying the whole
process), I do have a few thoughts...
Firstly, put on a little weight. I have no inside information.
The prophets today are all over the shop and some are predicting a no-deal,
some are predicting a deal, some are notably silent. No-one is prophesying
remain. The consensus in those wild circles seems to be that God wants no-deal.
Who would have known that God was such an ardent Brexiteer? Yes, that’s right,
I read these prophecies so that you don’t have to (although they are there to
see if you are as sad as me). In the same way, someone has read Operation
Yellowhammer so that you don’t have to (and if you don’t believe me, try to
actually read the document, because I don’t think it is even behind The Times’s
paywall. Isn’t that some ‘leak’?)
So we are mostly left fed up and I would suggest that everyone
put on a little bit of weight. It is well known that in a survival (#nodeal) situation
those who are overweight will fair better because they have more reserves to
call on. Believe me, I am practicing what I preach in this. The panic buying
hasn’t started yet, but they say that it is wiser to buy a little at a time –
so as to avoid the rush.
I have been going round advising everyone to prepare a
little for a no-deal. Ignoring the accusations of fear-mongering, I have been
thinking it pragmatic. If you are not rich then there is reason to worry that
the only ones getting hurt in no-deal are the poor.
And if everything is honky-dory, the only ones looking silly
will be people like me who are advising the country to do a little preparation.
Obviously, the more important event come October 31st
is my annual Halloween story and I have not neglected my dear reader on this
count. The story has been prepared and has absolutely nothing to do with
Brexit.
So, in the meantime…
Think happy thoughts.
