Day 325 - Ridiculous Thoughts

 

I'm not sure I particularly miss praying. It was never really a need anyway. Most people acknowledge that prayer is probably quite good for you, one way or the other. They say that it is effectively a form of meditation.

So much has been written about it. In faith circles it is supposed to include giving thanks, praising God, requesting things for others, requesting things for yourself, listening and expressing feelings.

They say that it doesn't really matter where you are, or how you position your body. It can be spoken or silent, written or voiced. I don't think it was ever a necessity but maybe there is something within me that is inclined to pray. It can be replaced with breathing exercises or journal entries or other things.

There are a lot of people who tell you how it should be done... and not done. Even the atheists usually admit that it is not necessarily time wasted in that it is helpful for mental and emotional health. I always felt it was more helpful to deviate from the formal prayers written by others.

I vividly remember watching some programme on TV in which a nun finally expressed to God her frustration at effectively giving over her entire life, including career, love life, time and all the rest in dedication to prayer and service. She said that during that prayer she did get a kind of answer from God. She sensed a reaction to her valid frustration. She said that she sensed a mild, not unkind, amusement. A sort of gentle smile. It was enough for this particular nun. She had got some kind of reaction and mild amusement at her dedicating her entire life to God was enough for her.

There are those of us who would not be entirely satisfied by mild amusement at a life given over to the service of God. That's why people like that will go on prayer strike. 'How amusing, this one is actually complaining'. Like the fickle ancient Greek gods might be amused at the questions and frustrations and sufferings of mere mortals. Or Zeus cracking a smile that a human being would have the arrogance to complain (and if they keep complaining, a lightning bolt is always useful). 

Perhaps that is the way God views this prayer strike. As mildly amusing. Like an ant engaged in self-defeating behaviour, raising its fist to Heaven… expected to count its blessings that it is not crushed underfoot. I suppose being ridiculous in the eyes of Almighty is better than him smiting you. We want to avoid that smiting. We do not like the smiting. It isn't funny. No smitey, Lordy.

Who knows? We are all encouraged to pray. Does our refusal really make much difference? Are we only hurting ourselves? 

My old pastor always used to say, 'Just make sure you are right with God’... A kind of 'Make your peace with God' type of thing.

But what do you do when you feel that God should get right with you? That he should make his peace with you?