Day 290 - A call for a ceasefire

 

Well, I haven’t prayed for Israel, despite my wish that there would be peace there (and here and elsewhere). I’m not sure that violence is a terribly effective strategy for either side.

The Israeli war operation is actually called ‘Swords of Iron’ – and the irony is that despite the so-called convictions of many writers and journalists, many will still join their pen with the sword of one side or the other. So much for the pen being mightier than the sword, eh? All I’m saying at this point is that maybe there are other solutions than simply killing the enemy? At least prayer is non-violent, but shouldn’t both sides be prayed for? There should, at least, be a ceasefire. A blessing on both their houses. But who listens to moderate voices anymore?

My brother would sometimes boycott Israeli goods, similarly exasperated by the whole situation, I guess. We didn’t agree on Middle-Eastern politics. There was adversity on that issue. Another testy situation, allowed by a testy God. I’m not praying for it unless it escalates into World War III.

I had a dream about my brother last night.

When he died, I had expected my dreams (which are not usually very sweet anyway) to be quite tumultuous as my unconscious dealt with it all. What surprised me was how banal my dreams became. In fact, they were notably forgettable. If there were something really important that I needed to deal with in my waking life, it was not repeated in my dreams.

My dreams are almost always Kafkaesque. By which I mean that it is very rare for me to dream about anyone being friendly towards me. They tend to be full of people and things that want to harm me in some way. Often there are huge conspiracies, and a few recurring themes.

But as I say, in the immediate days after my brother died, my dreams became absolutely unremarkable.

And, there were no dreams of my brother. So last night's dream was unusual. And he was friendly with me. 

I will always remember a childhood dream with my brother in it and him being on my side in the dream against the monsters. It was memorable simply because so few of the characters in my dreams are benevolent.

It’s rare for someone to be nice to me in dreams or nightmares.

 

They say that God can speak through dreams, but if that is true, I wonder why so many of us have so many nightmares. It seems as if it is not just God and our subconscious which can speak through our nightmares, as so many can be so horrific. I have learned the trick of averting my ‘dream eyes’ when there is extreme gore in a nightmare and weirdly that works for me. Try it. But often there is an extreme body-horror far worse than the horror movies that I sometimes still watch.

 

‘A brother is born for adversity.’

 

This is in the Bible. Whether nightmare monsters or waking monsters. I always wanted Ad to feel I was on his side. I did not feel that we were born for adversity in terms of fighting each other (though sometimes we did), but that we were to fight greater adversities together. Whether this be the latest Government nastiness or other things. Of course, we were not able to fight the cancer together, though I tried to be on his side through it all, even when his language became affected by the aphasia which turned his talk to gobbledygook. It must have been so hard for him. The aphasia was not something any of us expected and was so unhelpful, causing huge confusion and misunderstandings. Language pretty much left him at the end. That must have been so hard.

How do you fight death together, knowing that death will win in the end? Fascinating as it is, it is still an enemy in my mind. It's real enough and hardly fair, is it? Worse still, who is on our side when we fight it? Not everyone. Four legged friends surely are… maybe? Love may be as powerful as death, but in many ways, death wins.

Worse still, all the believers who go around saying God has defeated death. Yes, but for whom? For himself. Great. He hasn't defeated death yet in any meaningful way for us. And no one here gets out alive. Go God.

 

It’s not the only thing God gets the praise for which he hasn't even done yet.

People tend to praise someone for something after an event. Oh, but not the Almighty, he wants the praise right now. And none of the blame. Not for death, or cancer, or wars… or anything.

It's a waking nightmare.

And just another reason for me to continue to give him the silent treatment.

That’s not war, that’s just a not-talking thing.

Still, maybe there should be a ceasefire all around.

The pen should be mightier than the sword (and not join with the sword).

Your voice matters.