I went back to AI
to find out if my attempts to get answered prayer were actually just part of
the grieving process. I was wondering if I was somehow stuck in the bargaining
stage – after all, I do want to effectively make a deal with God…
Q. What is the
bargaining stage of grief?
(I asked, forgetting everything I had learned about AI prompt engineering
needing to be specific and detailed).
A. The
bargaining phase is the third stage of grief according to the Five Stages of
Grief model by Kübler-Ross and Kessler. It is characterized by a desire to
negotiate with a higher power in an attempt to reverse or delay the loss.
During this stage, you may try to negotiate with yourself or a higher power to
undo or change the loss. It is a defence mechanism against the pain and
helplessness of grief. It may involve asking "what if?" questions or
making promises. I hope this helps you understand the bargaining phase of
grief. Please let me know if you have any other questions.
I had heard that
the five stages of grief model had largely been discredited and that the whole
process, with the golden fleece of ‘acceptance’ were more nuanced and
individual in practice. If there is one thing I should have learned by now, it
is that not everyone is going through exactly the same things I am going through
and have been through…
Q. Elaborate on
the bargaining stage of grief and about how it applies AFTER a death.
The bargaining
stage is a normal part of the grieving process that can occur after a
death. It is characterized by a desire to negotiate with a higher power in
an attempt to reverse the loss.
The bargaining
stage can be especially difficult after a death because it can be hard to
accept that the person is gone. You may feel like you could have done something
differently to prevent the loss. You may also feel like you need more time
with the person who has died.
It’s important
to remember that everyone grieves differently and there is no right or wrong
way to grieve. If you are struggling with grief, it may be helpful to talk
to a therapist or counsellor who can help you work through your feelings and
develop coping strategies.
I hope this
helps you understand the bargaining phase of grief after a death. Please let me
know if you have any other questions.
AI, as ever, was as
useful as trying to find an entrance to Elysium. Our robotic overlords are not
always helpful. But perhaps in a few years’ time they will be joining in with
the cruel cosmic ironies of the gods…
I digress – The
point is that I don’t think I can bring my brother back from the dead. But if
prayer requests are part of the grief bargaining stage, then, yes, I do want to
remain in the bargaining stage, until the prayers are answered.
And I’m being
particularly impossible by keeping my past prayer requests between myself and
God. He knows exactly what they are.
Am I supposed to
consider my actions and words in the liminal time between prayer and answered
prayer as… a test? Perhaps if I behave myself perfectly and resume prayer and
do all of the things I am supposed to do and say then the prayers will be
answered? Praise and thank the Almighty and it might placate him and surely
THEN he will finally answer the prayers? Bow to his conditions. Please him,
like you might go about pleasing Zeus - or your chosen god?
Maybe, like the
lotus eaters, it is wiser to remain in the bargaining stage. That is my
thinking. Odysseus can shake his fist at Poseidon and Zeus and get on with the
task of lotus eating. Eat the fruit to relieve the pain. Or wonder why the poppy
fields are so red. Bring no supplies back to the good ship of his home country,
a ship which will not necessarily treat you kindly anyway. Better to go native
on a supply hunt. Why set sail again? For the sake of Truth? For Penelope and
the good of Olympus? Or simply because we have little choice?
Let us choose our gods and goddesses carefully. Let us hope that they are on
our side.
Mine seems to be too busy with his ambrosia to care much for us mortals.
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