Day 129 - Kings and Queens

 

“The world is full of kings and queens who blind your eyes and steal your dreams.”

Black Sabbath

 

I’ve always been fascinated by the monarchy, even since I was a boy. Making cardboard crowns with plastic gemstones for jubilees. Looking at pictures of the crown jewels (now available in augmented reality from your smartphone).

It is hard not to be impressed by them. Well, not that hard, but you know how vulgar and crude those of us who are disillusioned by it can be.

Blame Spitting Image and every caricature in history (for which there really is a place). And university, where I made the mistake of listening while they taught me about the portrayals, symbols, pomp… and façade of the royals.

I won't recognise Prince Charles as a king until he is crowned. Put the crown on his head, anoint him with the most special oil (which has not been spat into) and that's when you become a king. Becoming king or queen happens when they put the crown on your head in public. That’s not much of a window for a one-man revolution. But, for a few more days we are leaderless as far as I’m concerned.

Surely nothing can go wrong? No-one is going to ‘bring down the whole edifice on their unworthy heads’ (to quote from ‘The Medusa Touch’) are they? And who is going to even plan treacherous acts against the new king in their head? Anyway, it’s illegal to think that way – look it up. (Although, it can make a pleasant meditation if you do not obsess over it. Try it. Just don’t follow up on it because that is called regicide… (Why not? Because regicide is like killing just one head of a hydra and you need to get to the power behind the hydra – which may not be Loki or Cthulhu (to mix my mythology)).

Have you committed thought-crime too? In a couple of days’ time, I may be so ground down that I will probably be on my knees, howling my allegiance to Charles III.

In reality I will be at my brother’s grave on coronation day. I guess I will have to watch the coronation on catchup. Unless I can listen to a little of it on the radio on the journey there.

I’ve read the coronation text. I can assure you that it is a spellbinding nightmare. Superbly written, if a bit archaic (funny how the word ‘archaic’ also sounds old-fashioned these days). The Prime Minister is going to have to read about how all of his Government’s power comes from ‘you know who’. The PM likely won’t be humbled, or see any irony in the way his actions do not match up with his words. Well, I can talk, but at least I have some self-awareness.

We may as well try to enjoy it.

And then there are going to be all those beautiful sparkly crowns, orbs, sceptres and swords. I’m mostly talking about the main crown, St Edward’s crown – the one which is symbolised on all those passports and post-boxes and the… oh so helpful…. GOV.UK website. A desirable item. Charles will also be given a special ring to symbolise how he is marrying the country… before the ‘consummation’ (because we have a great history of leaders making love to the soul of Britain don’t we?).

Dieu et mon droit. It means ‘might is right’. Only joking, it means ‘God and my right’… Meaning the right of the new king.

It’s a bit of a shame that so much of the church is now lumped in with the establishment. Blame Constantine or something. Some of us don’t like the optics. It looks bad.

I will recognise Prince Charles as a king after the coronation.

But very, very sadly, I will probably not be praying for our new establishment for a while, if at all.

I did manage to dig up a helpful quote from David Icke, the famous monarchy critic. He comments on his website: “Oh, do f*ck off: Coronation will include invite to public to swear allegiance out loud to King Charles – swear allegiance to a moronic bloke living off the people who wants to destroy freedom through the WEF??”

 

“The world is full of kings and queens who blind your eyes and steal your dreams.”