I remember reading a regular newspaper columnist and wishing that the columnist would break through into something new. I would read her column and I would think, 'Yes, it's a pretty good column, but you could break through into something deeper - you can do so much better than this.'
But she never did.
Just before the Iraq war I remember thinking that Tony Blair could have prevented the war. He could have acted like Hugh Grant in 'Love Actually', he could have said to Bush, 'No, this isn't right, we shouldn't go to war'.
But he never did.
Sometimes I look at the Queen and I think - 'How can you just let so many of the bad things which happen in this country go on? You could be so much better than this - you could really make a difference, you could easily speak out and make things better.'
But she hasn't so far.
And I look around and I just think - you can't really change people. You can't really change people in powerful positions.
I'm often told, 'The only person you can change is yourself'.
But even that is so hard. I'm left wanting others to change first.
I'm not a leader. It means that my responsibility to change isn't as great as that of those in power. But if I can change, if I can make things better - if I can somehow break through into something new, at least I will have achieved something.
So it remains my conviction that I can't change others, that I can only change myself. That I can only attempt to accept others for who they are.
But I still want to break through into something new.
Hey!! Perhaps I could become really evil!!? :-D
It can't be that hard! :-D